Ah, a good book. The moment you finish it’s almost liked you’ve lost a lover.
The ending was good, but you just wanted it to go on forever. You feel like it gave you so much: perspective, emotions, understanding. It’s deep. It’s kind of like falling in love with a stranger you’ll never see again.
Fortunately, you still feel satisfied, if only for a brief period of time. Perhaps this quote from Salman Rushdie sums it up best:
“When a reader falls in love with a book, it leaves its essence inside him, like radioactive fallout in an arable field, and after that there are certain crops that will no longer grow in him, while other, stranger, more fantastic growths may occasionally be produced.” – Salman Rushdie
This type of reading, according to Time magazine’s Annie Murphy Paul, is called “deep reading”, a practice that occurs less these days thanks to skim reading and the internet.
The lost art of deep reading is not only affecting our concentration levels, but deep readers are generally the kind of people you want to meet: Smarter, more thoughtful, enriched with different perspectives and ideas.
According to a study by York University psychologist Raymond Mar, people who read fiction are generally more empathetic. They also have the ability to appreciate ideas and beliefs that aren’t their own. Of course, we’re all capable of doing this, but in general, deep readers have higher levels of this ability.
When it comes to human connection, empathy is a crucial trait. We all want a lover who can understand us and get to know us for who we truly are.
It’s no surprise then that readers are better lovers. They’ve experienced life through other people’s lives and are more in tune with what someone else wants. I mean, how could they not?! They’ve picked up wisdom from literally thousands of different souls.
They know what it means to love, to suffer and to experience life’s harshest ups and downs. Because reading deeply is something that changes you. You feel the characters, their thoughts, their feelings and everything they want in life. You feel the heartbreak, the suffering, the emotions.
So if you’re looking for someone to complete you, look no further than a reader. They’ll understand you, they’ll love you the way you’ve always wanted and most importantly, they’ll be there for you when you need it most.
Not only do they understand you, they’ll “feel” you
Let’s be honest, the only people worth falling in love with are those who truly know you for all that you are. The one who feels your desires, your dreams, your aches, your pains.
And researchers at The New School in New York City have proven that deep readers have a stronger capacity to understand what others are thinking and feeling.
Because literary fiction focuses on the psychology of characters and their relationships.
According to social psychologist David Kidd, “often those characters’ minds are depicted vaguely, without many details, and we’re forced to fill in the gaps to understand their intentions and motivations.”
This prompts the reader to imagine the characters’ introspective dialogues. This psychological awareness carries over into the real world, which is full of complicated individuals whose inner lives are usually difficult to fathom.
This is why they “get” you. And why you’ll be able to grow together through shared feelings and understanding. It’s how two becomes one. And how a conscious, growing, unbeatable relationship is born.
A strong vocabulary is sexy
Readers love words. They might be verbose, but not in the obnoxious way. They use the right words in the right moments. They’ll make you melt with sharp sentence structure and top notch phonics, even in everyday exchanges.
And let’s be honest, we all want to get turned on. So if you’re lucky enough to find a sexy, deep reader, don’t let them go! They’re a dying breed and they might not come around again!