Here’s why some people avoid having sex

In Mind & Body
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Say what?

Yes you read it correctly. Some people avoid having sex for a number of reasons, which can at times be damaging to their self esteem, the self esteem of their partners and their relationship as a whole.

While we can appreciate that sex is only a portion of what contributes to a great relationship, I think we can all agree that it’s a very important part.

It is found that those who are avoid sex suffer psychological distress, anxiety, depression and relationship issues.

Those who engage more frequently tend to have higher self esteem, feelings of satisfaction, and a higher quality of life.

With this information in hand, why is it that up to 19% of adults avoid sex at some point in their lives and an even further 40% of women?

Here are the key reasons.

1. Childhood abuse and trauma

Women more so than men will avoid sex if they have a history of childhood sexual abuse or trauma. Sexual intimacy can be scary and bring up old wounds for someone who has suffered this in their past.

2. Pregnancy

Many couples, especially first time parents fear that sex will onset a miscarriage or they’ll harm the fetus. Women also note that pregnancy fatigue and pregnancy bloat squashes their interest.

3. Medical issues

This is the number one reason why both males and females avoid sex.

Heart attack– Many people who have suffered any heart condition are concerned about having a heart attack during intercourse.

Chronic Pain– Chronic pain is extremely stressful, tiresome and some of the medications cause a low libido. Someone with chronic pain may not even have the energy to be interested.

Metabolic diseases– Diabetes and obesity lead to lack of interest in sex given that a large body mass sometimes reduces a healthy self image. If you don’t feel sexy it’s unlikely you’ll want to participate in sexual activity.

Personality disorders, Addiction, Substance Abuse- An unfortunate side effect of treating these is that most of the medications reduce your libido.

Hormonal changes– For men, any level of lower than normal testosterone will reduce your desire, and for both men and women low levels of dopamine and serotonin can contribute to a low libido.

For those whose primary concern is of a medical or psychological viewpoint, it’s important to bring the issue up with your Doctor.

While some Doctors openly discuss sexual health due to the fact that lack of interest could indicate something medical, some never broach the subject.

If you or your partner are going through a dry spell, patience will be required. It can be a frustrating experience for you both until you come out the other side.

Nova Johnstone is a Ballet Dancer, Choreographer, Freelance Writer and Mentor to many young students. Based in Ireland she is the owner of Destination Dance Ireland where she helps Pre Professional Students take steps towards a career.

She writes her own opinion based, lifestyle articles from mainly a satirical point of view with the thought “if you can’t make a comedy out of your tragedies, what’s the point?”

She hopes to someday have the opportunity to be a strong public voice for young women to achieve their potential by combining her love of writing, dancing, acting and public speaking.