We can all agree that meeting new people is one of the greatest thrills in life. Every single friend, lover, coworker, neighbor, acquaintance was once a stranger.
And when you first met them, you never would have thought you’d eventually form a meaningful relationship with them. Or could you have?
While it’s difficult to learn ALL you need to know about someone the first time you meet them, there are certain questions you can ask that give you a deeper insight into the nature of their character, according to psychologists.
And let’s be honest, simple questions like, “How is your day?” or “What’s on for the rest of the week”, aren’t exactly going to give you insight into who they truly are.
But the following questions are different.
They’re designed to give you a more accurate and deeper insight into a stranger you’ve just met so you can work out whether you two will get along in the future.
1) How would you describe yourself?
This question might seem like it’s nothing special in particular, but its ambiguous nature will reveal a lot about their personality.
Because you can answer this question in many different ways. They might talk about their personality, their job, their family. Whatever they answer will generally show their priorities in life.
Also pay attention to the type of words they use. If they use words like “observant” or “recreational” they’re more likely to be humble, whereas if they use words like “smart” or “athletic” they might be extroverted.
2) What is your biggest accomplishment?
This will give a critical insight into a person’s past, and will also reveal two subtle things about their personality.
Once again, it shows where a person’s interests lie as it’s an ambiguous question. Is it a sporting accomplishment? Professional? Personal?
Also, how long did it take them to come up with this accomplishment? If it was a long time, it could be they have lots of accomplishments or few. You’ll have to use your sixth sense to find out.
3) Have you read any good books?
This is a great question and the answers will vary wildly.
First, you’ll easily be able to work out the non-readers from the readers. Some will be honest and say “they don’t read”. Other non-readers will take ages to work out what their last book was. This also shows they’re trying to impress you by searching for a book to say.
Among readers, you’ll find people who either prefer business or self-help books, or novels or science.
4) What is your dream job?
Another ambiguous question that will reveal a lot.
Some will show they’re the creative type by highlighting creative pursuits. Some will try and be funny and describe jobs that don’t exist like “beer taster” or “puppy cuddler”.
Whatever they respond with, it will reveal whether they’ve thought about this question a lot or not at all.
5) Who is your personal hero?
Quite a meaningful question to ask. You’ll find some will describe a family member, while others will describe an athlete or pop culture celebrity. You’ll learn a lot about their values here. You can probe these questions by asking “what is it that makes this ‘hero’ stand out?”
Usually they’ll mention traits and characteristics that they aspire to have in themselves.
Once you spend a little bit of time with someone, these questions are perfect to break. How they react and how they answer them will reveal a lot about their personality.