It can be overwhelming to think that you are being manipulated by someone, especially if you have just tuned in to the fact that this person is a manipulator.
Suddenly all of their tricks and gimmicks aren’t so effective anymore, and you are watching for signs that they are trying to manipulate you.
Manipulators try to control or play off of someone for their own gains. Words that are typically associated with the word manipulate include artful, unfair, and insidious. Insidious? That seems a bit harsh? But, maybe not.
While manipulators seem like slimy people — and surely some of them are — they are actually very skilled at pulling the wool over people’s eyes. It is a craft, and some take it very seriously.
What’s more hurtful than being manipulated is the realization that the person is doing it on purpose, because manipulation is a skill and its effect is very real. Here are five things manipulating people say that can make you feel like you are the crazy one.
1) “You are misunderstanding me.”
From time to time, a manipulator is cornered in their actions or words and will try to defend themselves to make it seem like it is your fault. They will use phrases such as “you are misunderstanding me” to make it seem like the issue is your own.
This can make people feel like they are poor communicators and what’s worse, they can start to believe it if they don’t catch on to the fact that they are being manipulated by someone for their own gain.
2) “You are acting irrational/crazy/illogical.”
In an effort to take the heat off of them, manipulators will turn the conversation around and make it about you. They will point out your flaws, your shortcomings, your misunderstandings, and suddenly you are sitting there wondering if you are the one that is at fault.
3) “You are being too sensitive.”
Rather than apologize for their actions or words, manipulators will make it seem like you are taking things too personally or that you are not capable of handling an intense conversation. This creates doubt in your mind and makes you think the whole issue is yours.
4) “I don’t like drama.”
This is an understatement. Manipulators love drama. They create it wherever they go and for whoever they are talking to.
If you find yourself feeling like you are overreacting and the other person is just shrugging their shoulders or feeding you information that upsets you, take a closer look to make sure this person isn’t a manipulator. If they are egging you on, they very well could be.
5) “You are overthinking this.”
When you are feeling overwhelmed and confused by your situation, manipulators will try to use that to their advantage to create more doubt in your mind and make you feel like you are blowing things out of proportion.
They will push you to see that you are being illogical or that you are thinking too much about a problem, thus making you feel like you are making the situation worse. The manipulator is at fault here. You need to own your emotions and reactions, but you need to watch for people who are trying to make you feel worse about yourself or the situation.
It can be hard to deal with a manipulator, but the best approach is to stand your ground, state your case, and stick to your guns about your emotions and feelings. Don’t let anyone tell you how to feel, and make sure you question what you think is happening so that you can get to the bottom of the issues on your own.